Mrs. Writes-a-Latte

After my ADHD diagnosis, I looked at my whole life with a new perspective. Did I react a certain way because of my ADHD? Was that the reason why x, y z things were hard for me? The only way for me to process almost 35 years of not knowing what was wrong with me was to write about it. To look at major life events now with the knowledge that I had/have ADHD. That perspective was what was missing my whole life. But what started as writing my heart out, turned into a great first chapter for what could be a memoir, as well as gave me a fantastic title for it. I will reveal the title as well as a little bit about my memoir in the last part of this chapter.

I started writing this chapter in June 2022, but this has been revised and edited over a period of time which also included adding more content and fresh perspective. So don’t be surprised if you see a few lines added in July 2022, or even in 2023.

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Sunday, June 26, 2022
I browse through each listing carefully. Even so, it takes me less than 30 seconds to determine if it’s a good fit.

Two bathrooms, or a bathroom and another toilet at least (or a “downstairs WC” or “cloakroom” as they call it), close to either Gloucester, Cheltenham, Stroud, or Stonehouse station, a minimum of two double bedrooms, kitchen with all appliances is non-negotiable, even better if it’s an open plan kitchen (but I’ll settle for a separate kitchen away from the lounge/diner if the property has other advantages), a backyard is an added bonus, under £900, even better if it’s under £800.

I have these things down pat. A mental checklist, if you will. I know what I want. Exactly.

Never in my life have I ever been more clear about something.

Except, Sandeep.

That I knew for sure since 1996.

It only took him 13 years or so to get on board, but he needed that time, I guess, LOL!

I’ll admit that until a month ago, for the last three years, I was obsessed with Spain. Now, England is the location on my radar and may I say that it’s just as good? Even better, actually, because I get to skip taking a crash course in Spanish and learn it at leisure instead.

It also helps immensely that family and friends have lovingly (not!) called me Angrez (an English person) for always correcting their grammar or pronunciation, and given this turn of events it now somehow feels like it’s because that’s where I’m meant to be. That’s not to say that it’s where I will be forever; I’d like to explore other parts of the world as well, but it’s a start.

For one, the weather there is EXACTLY what I need (at least I think it’s exactly that). Despite living in Mumbai all my life until this point (and for the near future until we actually move) I have never gotten used to the humidity. It was still very bearable until I was a couch potato living with my parents. But after I got married and did actual chores around the house that required a little bit of manual labour (sometimes more than a little bit) and therefore sweat, I realised that Mumbai’s weather is not my friend.

Spending just 10 minutes in the kitchen no matter what time of year it was showed me what real heat was and the extent of the impact of humidity on my hair and appearance. After having my second child, who is now almost 15 months old and eating solid food 4-5 times a day, I feel like I spend all my time in the furnace kitchen because I’m either prepping for a meal, making a meal, or clearing up after a meal before the entire cycle repeats itself in a couple of hours or so. Getting sweaty and therefore stinky 5 times a day makes showering totally useless even if I do it thrice a day but that doesn’t matter because on most days I barely get to have one decent, uninterrupted shower.

It’s obvious that I was meant to live in a cold place. My children, too, because they both refuse to use blankets no matter how cold it is, not that Mumbai ever gets properly cold. We have the fan running at full speed even when the temperature in Mumbai drops to 20 degrees C or lower and they don’t care.

Suffice to say that my husband wouldn’t miss the heat or the sticky humidity that results in him going through 4-5 T-shirts a day either. So I guess it’s what we need as a family. Comfort, and fewer clothes in the laundry! Why would anyone complain about that?

So England, or somewhere else in Europe was something I was okay with ever since I made up my mind about moving. Hello, Scandinavia!

This job prospect (which, by the way, is still only a possibility (with a much higher likelihood of materialising as of today, Monday, July 4, 2022, than it was when I started writing this last week) but I have assumed that it is happening for sure as that’s the only acceptable outcome for me) has given me a specific location to zero in on.

So over the last three or so weeks, I’ve spent countless hours on rightmove.co.uk (where I’m logged into from ALL of my devices. And yes, I’ve created an account. OF COURSE, I HAVE! How else will I make neat little lists to save the properties I like?) that I know exactly where to look – as in, which part of the page specifically – to find the details I need for each listing.

If you’ve ever read Rhonda Byrne’s ‘The Secret’ you’d have heard of the Law of Attraction and that it works on three simple principles.

ASK. BELIEVE. RECEIVE.

ASK – Ask the Universe exactly what you want.
BELIEVE – Live your life as if it has already happened.
RECEIVE – Receive your gift/desired result from the universe.

I have done this extremely seriously only once before when I really, really wanted to be with someone. From not speaking to each other for over three months to finally being a couple within 2 weeks of trying the principles from The Secret, it has been surreal. Today I am also married to the guy, so that says something, huh? But that’s definitely a story for another time.

For almost 2 years now I’ve been telling anyone who’d listen that I want to move out of the country (Step 1: ASK, check) and there are a lot of reasons why I want this. Climate and lifestyle top the list, of course. However, like I mentioned before, I was very vague on the specifics. I knew it had to be Europe for the simple reason that from whatever I have read/researched, it seems like Europeans value quality of life over countless hours of slogging at the office.

Anyway, I have been asking this of the Universe, repeatedly; everything short of ‘mandiron mein kiye phere, pooja saanjh savere’ [Translation: I visited temples, worshipped day and night!] because I’m now agnostic, but I digress.

Actually, not exactly.

The popular word these days to define such a thing would be ‘manifestation’ so you might see those words rightly used interchangeably, much unlike the pledge-donate fiasco.

But no matter what fancy words I use, I know what it really is.

HYPERFIXATION!

The only good thing in the shit-storm of ADHD symptoms, and even that depends on circumstances.

Executive Dysfunction?
Catastrophic!

Emotional Dysregulation?
Horrific!

Sensory Sensitivity?
Annoying!!

Poor working memory?
Ooof, bad!

Stimming?
Weeeeird!!

Hyperfocus??
Ahhh, JACK-fucking-POT!!

And Gloucestershire is my latest.

To be continued…
Click HERE to read Part 2.